Let's Be Honest (pt.I)

I'm going to be completely honest and confess something right now....Here it is.

I am an extreme perfectionist. *gasp* :-p

Yeah. It's pretty bad and paralyzing at times.

Along with this I have very "all or nothing" kind of thinking.

I say to myself.."I want to ___ (fill in the blank - re-do my bedroom, have a movie night at my house with friends, take a dance class, etc). But if I can't do it to perfection and get every single detail just right....I won't do it at all."

(how silly of me *rolls eyes*)

On top of these things, I also have moments of major low self-esteem. 

Warning: Little rabbit trail about to happen...

"..wait...aren't we supposed to be strong independent women who have life together?  Isn't it bad to show signs of weakness? What would everyone else think of me then?"

Actually, the other day I was hit with this overwhelming feeling that I needed to stop trying to have everything together and that I need to stop trying to compete with others in wanting to be the best at what I do (perfectionism)...

Basically I felt an overwhelming need to be weak because I knew then I would truly sense a real Need for my Heavenly Father.

Seriously. Life gets pretty miserable pretty fast when I step away and try to figure things out on my own..

He is the key to a life of joy.

And if that's the life I truly want, I must first realize that it's not even possible to reach that place of peace without Him.

Yes, I NEED Him to complete me.

So instead of asking myself what everyone else may think of me or how they will respond to my honesty, I should really probably take these verses to heart...

2 Corinthians 12:9-10

 But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. [10] That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

(...to be continued ;-)